Amazed

My Testimony?
That's a good question. Why do I believe what I believe?
As I look back on my life I realize that even through the struggles, God has protected me more than I could ever imagine. I have no Idea why I am the way I am. Why I love God and choose to follow him. I've always had faith, big or small, it was still faith. I grew up knowing the truth. Even through hard times I still remained faithful, but I couldn't tell you why. I believe with all of my heart that God wants me on his side. For some reason he has a plan for me in his kingdom somewhere. There is no way I would be where I am right now If he didn't.

Bordo and I had a conversation the other day. First off, I was thinking about not going to Honduras because of money. Then he called me and told me that someone wanted to pay for me and Kelsey to go. I didn't want to take the money at first. One, because the church has helped me out too much in my life and I felt bad. Two, because It was more expensive than a trip to Mexico. I was crying on the phone when he told me. He told me to take the money, and to think of it as a faith builder and a blessing from God. He said that sometimes God blesses us for remaining faithful. That's what got me the most. All the times I have not been completely faithful, and he chooses to bless me for being faithful? Did I just contradict myself from the first paragraph?

I guess what I'm trying to say is that God is always taking care of me, even when I don't realize it. The song that comes to mind is obviously Lord I'm Amazed By You.

You dance over me
While I am unaware
You sing all around
But I never hear a sound

Lord I'm amazed by you
Lord I'm amazed by you
Lord I'm amazed by you
How you love me


Find something to be amazed about.
~Lauren~

This is the day that the Lord has made!

Have you ever had one of those days were you're just happy to be alive? I hope you have, because it's a good feeling. With so many things going on and so many things to get done, it's hard to remember that God has blessed you with another day on this earth. Today hasn't been anything special. I woke up around 10 30 or 11, watched lion king 2 (don't judge), took a shower, dropped kelsey off at work, and now I'm just chilling until I go eat dinner with my mom and then I will be babysitting on my night off of work. I'm not gonna lie, I was a little upset about babysitting on my night off, but 1. I absolutely love the little girl I'm taking care of 2. I need money 3. Why be upset? It will be fun. I'm just glad that it's such a pretty day outside! Why am I so happy today? Nothing really special happened or will happen. I'd like to say it's the joy of the Lord!

I just thought I'd post on a good day, since most of my posts are complaints about how confused I always am...jk, sort of.

Have a blessed day,
~Lauren~

I can't think of a clever title

In exactly two months from today I will be an official High school graduate. This weekend was the last time for me to sing UIL music with a choir I have come to appreciate and love. A lot of the people in that choir I have been singing with since the 6th grade. I remember our first UIL competition. I just sang at my last. While we were in the warm up room, we were about to sing through our last song, and all the seniors realized this was our last time to sing together for competition and that we needed to sing the best we possibly could for each other because we owed it to ourselves and each other. Ummm...i didn't make it through the song. I cried. I realized how much I will miss choir while we were singing. Then we went on stage and did amazing.com. We placed 2nd in our class (5A varsity mixed) then we also placed 2nd in the festival (out of all the choirs, bands and orchestras). I felt pretty good about that. Except the choir that beat us were jerks. We beat out a TMEA honor choir. If you're not in choir that probably means nothing to you, but it's actually pretty big time.

So money sucks. I hate it. I hated it when I didn't have it, and I still hate it now that I have it. It stresses me out, because I make money and it seems like a lot, but then I remember that I'm going to a school that costs 23,000 a year to go to. Should I go to ACU? I hope it's worth it. Sometimes I wonder if I should just be a waitress for the rest of my life. I don't make enough to live on yet, but once I get better I could. There are people at Outback that BANK. I could move up and eventually own my very own Outback. How tight would that be? I wouldn't have to work my way through college, and risk not having a social life at all. I wouldn't have to worry about paying off thousands of dollars in loans. Plus, I'd get to wear a bright purple or green safari shirt every day for the rest of my life (don't worry, there are other colors too). Pretty much livin' the dream...I wish life wasn't so confusing. I'm sure it gets easier as I get older...wait, that's a lie. College is already stressing me out and I'm not even there yet. I know that anything worth having is worth working for. Going to the college of my dreams is worth having, so I will work for it. I want to be a children's minister. I want to make a difference in the world, which I have recently discovered is hard to do. Especially when you don't fit into the world. I know it's ok. This world is not my home. I'm called to be in the world not of the world. I walk into the kitchen at Outback and the F bomb is thrown out like it's nothing. It's sad that it's easier to conform to look like the world then it is to stay the way you are. Not that I'm yelling profanity left and right or anything, but I've noticed that it's not bothering me as much as it did at first. I've become numb to it.

I pray that God can use me to make a difference. I hope that that's what I'm living for. Sometimes in the busyness I forget why I'm here. Why I'm called. I want to be good at what I do. I'm trying so hard, that I forget that I'm on a mission field. Please pray that I can be a light at work. This job is honestly hard on me. I was scared to death when I first started. I'm getting better. Some people there think I'm shy. I'm only shy when I'm intimidated, which I am. I'm getting a lot better though, at least I think I am.

Things I love:
-God
-My twin sister
-my friends and family
-FCYG
-children
-music
-flowers
-things that smell good
-roller coasters
-people who inspire me to live out my faith
-crocks
-dance parties
-feeling like I'm apart of something bigger than myself
-laughing