Welcome back!

Wow it's been a while! My life is so different since the last time i blogged...mainly cause i'm in college now. Did I actually just say that? I'm a college woman..watch out. The funny thing is, it's a lot different than I expected it to be. Not different in a bad way. I can't really explain it. Mainly I thought that going to college I would finally just be in my element and nothing would go wrong and i'd just have everything figured out. Yeah i know...grow up Lauren. I'm still confused a lot. I still know God has a plan for me. The question is what. I obviously over think every little thing in life..still. Is there something wrong with me? Well of course there is, I'm human. I think it's funny that I always blog my frustrations with life. Can someone just tell me to calm down please? I mean I almost forgot I had this little guy set up..I've been struggling in my faith since I got here. It was really sudden. I am in a bible class, I've gotten pretty involved at church, but my personal relationship with God is...well rough. I've become a totally different person and when I say different this I mean it in a bad way. Satan has me really figured out. I hate him. I feel like i'm not me at all. I've noticed this tremendously in some of my relationships. I don't love people the way I should. Ministry to others is a way i used to connect with God and I'm a ministry major and I can't think of anything i've done lately to help someone. I mean I did give some people rides the other day...i'll go ahead and pat myself on the back for that one..khudos. The point is..I love the Lord. I need the Lord, but I'm too lazy and selfish to let him make his home in my heart again. I need prayer. I need to pray. I need a lot of things i guess. I need to not focus on myself is what I need to do. I mean..when God looks at this world, I am not in the center of it. My world has very little to do with God's kingdom so why do I make it seem that way? Selfishness. I've read the bible quite a bit today. God is really opening my eyes. I started a new prayer journal again...I'm a prayer journal junkie sometimes. It's good cause it helps me focus my prayers. I'll tell you something. God is good. He will be praised. No matter what's going on in my life he is Lord. I'm proclaiming that right now. The next step is to start living like I believe that again. Any ideas?...to the 3 people who read this...lol Thanks faithful readers..that is if ya'll still blog. Well I hope everything is going well.


Until next time,
Lauren

Ps. Clint, next time you try to get me to class on the day they show a snake video...You die. It's clear that's the reason you were so worried about me not being in class..jerk.